By understanding the research process as a lived experience, it becomes clear that the existence of deadlines gives research a very specific temporality and meaning. Through an autoethnographic narrative and performative writing, the author becomes aware that the closer he gets to the end, the more vitality, ideas, commitment, connection, and reflexivity grow. The approach of the end accelerates the deconstruction and reconstruction of the text, the multiplication of endings and mournings, of traces and ghosts. The outline of research is very different from that of epistemological treatises, and there is a tragic parallel with existence.